Yesterday I had my first councilling session with an eating disorder councillor. It went better then I thought. She was nice, and not in that creepy phycologist way, but just down to earth and real. It was easy to open up to her and I think she will be able to help me manage some of my feelings about my eating and let go of some of this control that I feel I need to have over everthing in my life. It's a good thing that I liked her because my doctor told me today that it will be at least a 8 to 9 month wait to get into the eating disorder clinic. I feel like I need to just work with this councillor and focus on getting healthy on my own. I can't count on that clinic for help...after all 8 to 9 months is a long time away and I pray to god I wont be in the same spot as I am right now by then!
On a happier note, I have been making some strides with my eating and forcing myself to consuming a bit more then normal. It's funny how right away I can feel my body getting more strength and energy just by eating more. It's like my body is craving those calories and is so happy once it gets them. I hope I can keep positive about it and keep trying to get well. I have a trip to Mexico booked for x-mas and It will be hard to eat there not knowing how the food has been prepared. Also I will want to loose weight to look good in my bathing suit. All this will be a challenge I'm sure!
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